Deep thoughts, by Stan Matuska
I often ponder certain things in life, as I'm sure we all do.
Here are a few that have been keeping me awake at night.
Here are a few that have been keeping me awake at night.
Some are original, some are not. Can you tell them apart?
1. If there is no gravity on the moon, then what keeps the moon rocks from floating away?
2. How do atheists explain the sun, earth and stars? If it was a "big bang", then how did the stuff that went "bang" get there in the first place?
3. They say there's always someone worse off than you, but what do you say to the person at the end of the chain?
4. What color hair do they put on the driver's license of bald men?
5. If you fly half way around the world, are you upside down?
6. When you find something that you've been looking for, why do you say it was in the last place you looked?
7. If the oldest living documented person was 128 years old, then think about this: 128 (or so) years from now, every single person alive today will be dead. The earth will be inhabited entirely by people who are not alive today.
8. Of the new inhabitants from 7. above, There will still be racism, fighting among countries similar to today, and blame for slavery. Why is that?
9. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
10. If a person loses ten pounds, where does it go?
11. If you saw the clerk at Subway take someones money, then proceed to make your sandwich without washing their hands or putting on plastic gloves, would you say something?
12. Why do we say that our feet smell and out nose runs?
13. Speaking of feet, what is the name of the top part of your foot?
14. Why is the third hand of a watch called a second hand?
15. Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
16. What happens when an iresitsable force meets an imovable object?
17. How is it that we can send a rocket to the moon, but can't make a tire that doesn't go flat?
18. Actually, I recently heard a real commercial about a run-flat tire that gives you something like 50-100 miles before it goes completely flat.... so if you have a flat, but don't know it because of the run-flat tires, wouldn't you still be left just as surprised about your flat tire, except that you'll be 50-100 miles further down the road?
19. Where do they put the Bible in libraries, the fiction or non-fiction section?
20. Why doesn't broccoli come in a can?
7. If the oldest living documented person was 128 years old, then think about this: 128 (or so) years from now, every single person alive today will be dead. The earth will be inhabited entirely by people who are not alive today.
8. Of the new inhabitants from 7. above, There will still be racism, fighting among countries similar to today, and blame for slavery. Why is that?
9. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
10. If a person loses ten pounds, where does it go?
11. If you saw the clerk at Subway take someones money, then proceed to make your sandwich without washing their hands or putting on plastic gloves, would you say something?
12. Why do we say that our feet smell and out nose runs?
13. Speaking of feet, what is the name of the top part of your foot?
14. Why is the third hand of a watch called a second hand?
15. Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
16. What happens when an iresitsable force meets an imovable object?
17. How is it that we can send a rocket to the moon, but can't make a tire that doesn't go flat?
18. Actually, I recently heard a real commercial about a run-flat tire that gives you something like 50-100 miles before it goes completely flat.... so if you have a flat, but don't know it because of the run-flat tires, wouldn't you still be left just as surprised about your flat tire, except that you'll be 50-100 miles further down the road?
19. Where do they put the Bible in libraries, the fiction or non-fiction section?
20. Why doesn't broccoli come in a can?
posted by Stan Matuska at 7:20 PM
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