AAAH….NOW I UNDERSTAND

As I get older, quickly closing in on 50, I’m beginning to understand those 2 little words that I have so often heard, but never felt…road rage.

I drive from Aboite to North Coliseum Blvd every Monday-Friday to my 8-5 job and back again. Not a day goes by that someone doesn’t cut me off in traffic, ride their brakes all the way down Coliseum Blvd, quickly slam on their brakes just as the traffic light begins to turn yellow, or drive 30 mph in a 45 mph zone and I’m getting ticked off! And no, it’s not just the older drivers I’m talking about. I’m also talking about these nimrods:

The Cell Phoner:

You’ve seen them. They’re the ones with one hand clutching a cell phone and every brain cell concentrating on some conversation that absolutely could not wait until they’ve reached their destination. In the meantime, I’m the lucky driver behind them that has to anticipate their every move, since they’re too busy to notice that yes, there ARE other cars on the road.

The Make-Up Madam:

I kid you not…today I was in the lane next to a woman who was putting on mascara WHILE she was driving in morning rush hour traffic. Ma’am, if your mascara makes such a difference in your appearance that you can’t wait for a red light to apply it, then maybe you shouldn’t be leaving the house without it already on. I’ve also seen women applying, blush, lipstick or powder, spraying perfume, combing their hair and putting on earrings, but somehow, after seeing this morning’s glamour girl applying the mascara (no easy task even in the best of conditions) all of these other things seem pretty minor!

The Road-Rocker:

This is the (usually) young person blasting their stereo for all to enjoy and infringing on my peaceful morning commute. If you’re lucky, you might also be treated to a sneak preview of their “So You Think You Can Dance” audition, at least the hand motions. I once drove from New Haven to Antwerp, Ohio behind a driver who was bouncing up & down to whatever music she was listening to, with her hands waving in the air about half the way, while visions of an accident distracted me all the way to my destination.

You’ve all seen these characters and many more. I can’t figure out what these people are thinking when they multi-task behind the wheel, but you know what I REALLY wonder about?

Where did they take driver’s education and how many times did it take them to pass their driving tests?