A nation of nitwits: Part 1
Sarcasm must be totally lost on some people.
From the website Overheard in New York:
This is just a comical example of a deeply rooted problem in the U.S., and the problem is that our society has become (collectively) dumber than a box full of lamb fries. Each day we are presented with example after shining example of groups of people making stupid decisions that individuals - perhaps even the same individuals who are in the groups - wouldn't make. Over the years this has been coined "mob mentality," but I've always found that to refer most often to actual mobs, like the ones that chased Frankenstein's Monster with the torches and pitchforks.
What about groups of people who are not "mobs" in the classic sense, they are not necessarily in the same physical proximity? What about groups of people who may share common backgrounds, futures or misunderstandings? Take for example a massive segment of the American Public to which I refer as the "Consumorons." These people will buy whatever you try to sell them, as long as you can provide them with some tidbits of customer testimonial propaganda for them to interpret as gospel.
Make millions of dollars placing tiny little ads....
When is a weight loss pill worth $153 per bottle?....
HOT STOCK TIP! I selected your email address specifically...
Disney Vacations for $1!!!...
This dazzling ring is genuine cubic zirconium!....
Need cash? Refinance your home!....
Drowning in debt? Bankruptcy never hurt anyone!...
CREDIT REPAIR: $400 per week for 6 months and we'll clear up your credit report...
Send money and Jesus will perform a miracle on this woman!...
Consult your doctor to see if the Psychotropic Drug du jour is right for you!
Got a runny nose? Call the law offices of James Sokolove, we might be able to sue somebody on your behalf!...
Smilin' Bob and his massive unit eat handfulls of these pills a day! You can too!
The list goes on and on (and on). For every sucker, there is a five hour line at their front door to sell them something. I hear much screaming and yelling at various levels of government that indicate there is a need for more education - more money dumped into education - better standardized test scores - nicer facilities etc. Unfortunately, no where is there offered a class for middle-schoolers that details to the young folks how to be better consumers. No one is there to explain to young people how to objectively analyze some of this retail flotsam and jetsam, and ultimately, how to avoid it. I have come up with a theory as to why.
My theory falls along the same lines as The Emperor's New Clothes. Who is willing to openly admit that they have been duped? How could one go about compiling this information into a usable format, that it might be properly conveyed in an educational way to the naive consumers of tomorrow?
First off, we must first convince more than just a handful of anonymous emailers that it is good to 'fess up when you've been had. Mind you, this may be a difficult task. How many people would be willing to say "yeah, I've always been self conscious about the size of my junk, so I gave Smilin' Bob a call, ate those Enzyte pills for 30 days, and, well, let's just say I haven't yet begun to turn heads in the sauna." Any? Most people wouldn't admit to calling that 800 number in the first place. Admitting that you got screwed by a marketing gimmick (and you're still hung like a hampster), now that's demoralizing. So really, how can we pass along common sense in an educational setting? Is it possible?
Many would conclude that we must somehow rely on parents to convey these life-lessons to their kids. Unfortunately, these "parents" are some of the same people who still think that withdrawal is a legitimate form of contraception, or as illustrated above, think Steven Colbert is an actual Republican. How can a parent, in good conscience, look at their kids across a table full of Publishers' Clearing House entry forms, Columbia House stamps, Amway fingernail clippers, Kirby-Vacuumed carpets, HerbaLife supplements...how can the parents be expected to teach their kids what they haven't yet learned themselves?
I do not wish anyone to misunderstand my point here (if indeed it turns out that I actually do have one). I have no gripes about teaching kids math, science, history, English, economics, civics, or really anything....basketweaving, auto mechanics, homemaking et al. However, our so-called standardized testing in the U.S. doesn't even come close to addressing actual stupidity. This is evident by the droves of people funding the massive junk-business industry. Have you seen weight loss signs on little wooden sticks by busy intersections? Some sucker had to put those there. Chances are good they probably even had to pay for them. Does anyone call them? Would people put them there if consumers didn't call those numbers?
There's only so much that raw education can do for a person. We sit with our noses pointed toward the glowing brain-death machines and unquestioningly absorb whatever BS is fed to us. Does anyone out there have any concept of how many Americans are actually concerned with Kevin Federline and his daily goings-on? Would it surprise anyone to learn that I don't even know what the guy looks like? I don't....seriously. I can't even bring myself to Google a picture of him. Unfortunately, the next generation of Americans, poised on the edge of the work force, actually know who K-Fed is, and they have a particular affinity for him and the grotesque, gluttonous lifestyle he stands for. Not that I fret about what people do with their time, how they want to dress, how useless they wish to be...really I couldn't care less. However, these buffoons are causing the rest of us to have our rights and liberties curtailed in immeasurable, shameful ways. This will be the focus of my writing on this blog for the forseeable future.
Next chapter: The Princess Diana Phenomenon/Sideshow.
From the website Overheard in New York:
Middle-aged Long Island lady thumbing through magazine: Look, there's Stephen Colbert.
Husband: Who's that?
Middle-aged Long Island lady: He's a terrific Republican reporter on TV. You should watch him. He's really great. Puts the liberals in their place.
This is just a comical example of a deeply rooted problem in the U.S., and the problem is that our society has become (collectively) dumber than a box full of lamb fries. Each day we are presented with example after shining example of groups of people making stupid decisions that individuals - perhaps even the same individuals who are in the groups - wouldn't make. Over the years this has been coined "mob mentality," but I've always found that to refer most often to actual mobs, like the ones that chased Frankenstein's Monster with the torches and pitchforks.
What about groups of people who are not "mobs" in the classic sense, they are not necessarily in the same physical proximity? What about groups of people who may share common backgrounds, futures or misunderstandings? Take for example a massive segment of the American Public to which I refer as the "Consumorons." These people will buy whatever you try to sell them, as long as you can provide them with some tidbits of customer testimonial propaganda for them to interpret as gospel.
Make millions of dollars placing tiny little ads....
When is a weight loss pill worth $153 per bottle?....
HOT STOCK TIP! I selected your email address specifically...
Disney Vacations for $1!!!...
This dazzling ring is genuine cubic zirconium!....
Need cash? Refinance your home!....
Drowning in debt? Bankruptcy never hurt anyone!...
CREDIT REPAIR: $400 per week for 6 months and we'll clear up your credit report...
Send money and Jesus will perform a miracle on this woman!...
Consult your doctor to see if the Psychotropic Drug du jour is right for you!
Got a runny nose? Call the law offices of James Sokolove, we might be able to sue somebody on your behalf!...
Smilin' Bob and his massive unit eat handfulls of these pills a day! You can too!
The list goes on and on (and on). For every sucker, there is a five hour line at their front door to sell them something. I hear much screaming and yelling at various levels of government that indicate there is a need for more education - more money dumped into education - better standardized test scores - nicer facilities etc. Unfortunately, no where is there offered a class for middle-schoolers that details to the young folks how to be better consumers. No one is there to explain to young people how to objectively analyze some of this retail flotsam and jetsam, and ultimately, how to avoid it. I have come up with a theory as to why.
My theory falls along the same lines as The Emperor's New Clothes. Who is willing to openly admit that they have been duped? How could one go about compiling this information into a usable format, that it might be properly conveyed in an educational way to the naive consumers of tomorrow?
First off, we must first convince more than just a handful of anonymous emailers that it is good to 'fess up when you've been had. Mind you, this may be a difficult task. How many people would be willing to say "yeah, I've always been self conscious about the size of my junk, so I gave Smilin' Bob a call, ate those Enzyte pills for 30 days, and, well, let's just say I haven't yet begun to turn heads in the sauna." Any? Most people wouldn't admit to calling that 800 number in the first place. Admitting that you got screwed by a marketing gimmick (and you're still hung like a hampster), now that's demoralizing. So really, how can we pass along common sense in an educational setting? Is it possible?
Many would conclude that we must somehow rely on parents to convey these life-lessons to their kids. Unfortunately, these "parents" are some of the same people who still think that withdrawal is a legitimate form of contraception, or as illustrated above, think Steven Colbert is an actual Republican. How can a parent, in good conscience, look at their kids across a table full of Publishers' Clearing House entry forms, Columbia House stamps, Amway fingernail clippers, Kirby-Vacuumed carpets, HerbaLife supplements...how can the parents be expected to teach their kids what they haven't yet learned themselves?
I do not wish anyone to misunderstand my point here (if indeed it turns out that I actually do have one). I have no gripes about teaching kids math, science, history, English, economics, civics, or really anything....basketweaving, auto mechanics, homemaking et al. However, our so-called standardized testing in the U.S. doesn't even come close to addressing actual stupidity. This is evident by the droves of people funding the massive junk-business industry. Have you seen weight loss signs on little wooden sticks by busy intersections? Some sucker had to put those there. Chances are good they probably even had to pay for them. Does anyone call them? Would people put them there if consumers didn't call those numbers?
There's only so much that raw education can do for a person. We sit with our noses pointed toward the glowing brain-death machines and unquestioningly absorb whatever BS is fed to us. Does anyone out there have any concept of how many Americans are actually concerned with Kevin Federline and his daily goings-on? Would it surprise anyone to learn that I don't even know what the guy looks like? I don't....seriously. I can't even bring myself to Google a picture of him. Unfortunately, the next generation of Americans, poised on the edge of the work force, actually know who K-Fed is, and they have a particular affinity for him and the grotesque, gluttonous lifestyle he stands for. Not that I fret about what people do with their time, how they want to dress, how useless they wish to be...really I couldn't care less. However, these buffoons are causing the rest of us to have our rights and liberties curtailed in immeasurable, shameful ways. This will be the focus of my writing on this blog for the forseeable future.
Next chapter: The Princess Diana Phenomenon/Sideshow.
posted by Andrew Kaduk at 6:34 PM
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